Bubbling excitement and frustration

One of the things that I’ve never been good at is waiting. I tend to be an all-or-nothing kind of girl, and patience has never been a virtue. As a result, what tends to happen is I hurl myself into new things with great gusto, break stuff, fix it, have another go and then get it right, and better, after a number of attempts. I was fully aware of this when I got the first stirrings of an idea for a novel, so, on 15th January last year, I went against every core instinct that I had and waited a fortnight before starting to write. This paid off, as I sustained the momentum of writing the book through seven months, and then a further three months of editing. Now that I’m at the subbing stage, though, waiting for agents and publishers to get back to me has been a real challenge!

There are times when I get so excited about getting this book of mine out into the wider world that I’m just really tempted to Kindle it, and to hell with trad publishing. I mean, Amanda Hocking, EL James, erm, other people…they did it, and managed alright, right? But I can’t help thinking that the white noise on Amazon, the possibility that my book will just get lost among all the others where authors have gone ‘bugger it, let’s self-publish, I can’t be arsed waiting anymore’ and the worry that I still need someone in the industry to advise, do some crossing out and generally kick my arse into shape, still prevails. So I sit on my hands and hope one of the love letters I’ve been sending to agents will prevail and that I’ll get the representation for Far From the Tree and the subsequent novels that I so badly crave.

In the meantime, of course, there’s Sweeter than Cider to be getting on with. And the rest of them. But every time I log into my gmail, I can’t help hoping that there will be a reply from an agent there. And if there is, it’s a request for the full manuscript. It doesn’t help matters that the one I’m really hoping for will be a wait until September, until their competition closes, but, as they say…

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